Stoicism's Greatest Misconception
Stoicism's Greatest Misconception
Apatheia vs Apathy
Photo by Carlos Ibáñez on Unsplash
“There is only one way to happiness and that is to cease worrying about things which are beyond the power of our will.”-Epictetus
It has often been believed of the Stoics, that those who follow this philosophical doctrine are cold unfeeling men, incapable of emotion and as such inhumane to a certain degree. Therein lies the most common misconception surrounding a school of philosophy that has enjoyed a renaissance of sorts in recent years.
This misunderstanding often attempts to perpetuate the idea that Stoicism preaches a belief in maintaining the stereotypical stiff upper lip and is also connected with connotations of toxic masculinity. Yet it is fundamentally false for any individual who studies the core precepts of the philosophy and attempts to practice Stoicism in a meaningful way.
The issue is as much one of terminology as one of core philosophical concepts. The primary confusion lies within the doctrine of Apatheia, which has come to be defined as a state of mind that an individual can maintain, wherein they are not disturbed by unnecessary emotions in any given situation. Yet it is important to remember that this word should be more closely associated with equanimity rather than indifference.
It has often unfairly been associated with the concept of apathy by critics of the movement, which is a lack of interest or concern for a given issue. This form of indifference which has been falsely associated with the Stoics does not reveal the full picture and as such may turn many people off reading into and practicing its extremely useful core principles. This is also a false assumption, as has been evidenced by the public lives led by such Stoics, as Marcus Aurelius and Seneca who engaged in various pursuits for the betterment of others.
How self-control grants the Stoic freedom
For the Stoics, the primary focus was placed on the dichotomy of control. For those unacquainted with the main teachings of the core Stoic philosophers, this allows that the only things with which we should allow for concern are those that are within our control.
We cannot affect any agency over what is not within our control, such issues as the weather, the economy, or the political landscape of our country. Therefore, placing undue concern and worry on such things steals our enjoyment of the present and will likewise prevent us from pouring the entirety of our attention and effort into what it is we actually can control.
Control is the key to Stoicism, not every situation has to give rise to emotions that can weigh upon us. Our attitude and approach to the situation are key in such instances and it is so often our own choice as to whether the events in question have caused us harm and deserve a reaction.
This is a strategy I have used for many years at this stage, placing the entirety of my focus on what I can affect change over. This is primarily our actions and attitudes to any given situation. Growing up in an Irish family that maintains the traditional approach of bemoaning any misfortune that comes our way no matter how slight, it was quite a foreign concept to my friends and family. Complaints about the perpetual rain or other such minor problems would wash over me as I nodded along to whichever family member was expressing their dissatisfaction.
Yet when I mentioned why I would engage in such a method and attempt to explain it to family or friends, the afore-mentioned misconception would arise. The looks I would receive and responses I was given would evidence the misunderstanding I am hoping to explain in microcosm. For some and I can only provide my own experience in an Irish context, individuals will oftentimes look for something to complain about. So as to have a way of expressing a deeper dissatisfaction, rather than taking effective action to combat what ails us.
Some will equate the Stoic approach to such a dilemma as apathy, as I have defined above. Yet I prefer the view that in tackling what stands in our way and is truly disturbing us in that current moment we regain control of the situation.
For example, in becoming a lawyer I had to go through an extended period of intense exams, this in and of itself is not a unique situation and will apply to many reading this in some way or another. Thinking forward to these exams, I would be struck with a sense of dread and anxiety, yet no matter how much I worried the exams would still be there and the time I feared so greatly would come irrespective.
So instead of allowing such emotions to control me, I focused on the issue I could handle. I pushed myself harder and harder to study, hour by hour, and day by day I worked towards my final goal. Then when the expected hour came for me to sit each exam, I learned to my shock that the actual exam was the easy part. I had used the emotion which had threatened to cripple me in the past to face down the demon I had built up in my head.
“There are more things, Lucilius, that frighten us than injure us, and we suffer more in imagination than in reality.”-Seneca
An Issue of Terminology and Emotion
The other primary issue which leads to the lack of comprehension of what it means to be a Stoic is one of pure emotion rather than solely control. Stoicism indicates the ancient Greek and Roman philosophy of Aurelius, Seneca, and Epictetus. Yet the lower case equivalent to be stoic indicates a person who is capable of enduring great pain or hardship without showing any emotion, indicating their feelings, or complaining.
The latter is not a healthy approach to life or grief and is rightly criticized in the modern-day. In the Irish context in particular this way of thinking had some particularly devastating consequences, leading to a mental health crisis of sorts that was swept under the rug in the past.
Wherein men in particular, irrespective of age would feel unable to speak about the issues that they were struggling with to such a severe degree. This is due to the belief that men had to be strong at all times and if they did indeed suffer, they should suffer in silence. This of course caused a loss of life by way of suicide in many instances and also the unfair and unnecessary hardship of many.
While great strides have since been made to change people’s opinions and allow men to speak up and discuss what ails them, it is not an attitude that we have fully been able to erase at present. I witnessed this firsthand on many occasions during the pandemic, particularly when my Grandmother passed away and despite my best attempts to be there for my family they struggled hugely. Just before this my father struggled massively with the impending loss and broke down in tears in front of me and when I attempted to comfort him the response I received shocked me.
He did not want my support and apologized allowing that he was a weak man, when in fact as a Stoic with an upper case S, I thought the complete opposite. To persist in the face of such overwhelming pain and despair is a far greater strength than to merely push it down and never truly confront one’s emotions. I had never thought more highly of my father than I had in that moment.
Stoicism preaches for the elimination of unnecessary emotions that are not required in a given moment and will do more harm than good to those around us. Anger and rage in particular fall under this bracket. To respond with outright anger goes against the rationality of the Stoic mind, it is always an unnecessary response and one which we often regret in hindsight for the harshness of our actions under its effects. To resort to such an emotion says more about our own failures than that of the individual who aggravates us. While we are human and capable of mistakes, it remains an emotion that we should attempt to avoid at all costs.
“All cruelty springs from weakness.”-Seneca
Returning to the example of my family in the terrible circumstances they were forced to endure, to display grief and sadness is not something with which a Stoic would disdain. To accept our moments of weakness, to truly feel the emotions that threaten to overtake us and continue irrespective is to be truly Stoic. My father faced the impending loss of his mother, a woman for whom everyone who ever came in contact with her truly adored, and yet he was able to fulfill his obligations day in and day out during such a difficult period.
They were able to care for my grandmother and be with her even when things became particularly painful in her final hours. The family could take care of each other and organize a ceremony that my Grandmother would have been proud of, despite the incomparable vastness of their grief.
The tears and heartbreak are a part of that experience and never anything that a true Stoic would look down on or expect an individual to prevent. Rather they are part of what makes the connections that bind us all together, the greatest gift which we can provide for one another.
In my own instance, for that period in time, I was able to spend time with my grandmother, help care for my family members who were truly struggling, and to conduct a public speaking role in the ceremony. All while feeling the gaping wound of the loss of a loved one in our lives, I could only do so by accepting the emotions that assailed me but also acknowledging the responsibilities I had and could not shirk.
The Humanity of Stoicism
To be human is to feel and true repression of this core aspect of the experience of life is to do ourselves and those we come in contact with a massive disservice. Some emotions are necessary and some are not, therein lies the crux of Stoicism and also the foundation of what so many individuals fail to understand about the Hellenic way of thinking. A Stoic is not unfeeling, nor are they cold or callous in how they treat their emotions.
Rather a true Stoic feels the emotions that are truly necessary allowing themselves to deal with them in a productive and if possible positive way. To properly do so, it is required of us to dispel the unnecessary emotions and in doing so we can feel and deal with our true feelings making use of such additional focus and concentration.
Rather we feel our pain, we feel what bears down upon us and what pains us to such a great degree, yet we refuse to bow to it. We struggle and continue ever onwards to overcome what threatens to bring us to our knees. No matter how powerful our emotions are we remember the words of Marcus Aurelius in this regard,
“Nothing happens to anybody which he is not fitted by nature to bear”
For anyone who has expressed interest in Stoicism, but has unfortunately been swayed by the misguided criticism of the doctrine that I have discussed above, I hope that I have dispelled such misgivings throughout the course of my article. This stereotyping of Stoics as apathetic and unfeeling has for many reasons gained traction in recent years.
Yet it is not a view that stands up to proper scrutiny. Rather it is more a case of an individual merely scratching the surface of what is a philosophy that has helped countless individuals throughout history with their darkest hours and lowest lows.
Such Stoics would grapple with the unfortunate side effects of the human condition, whether it be the ease with which we give in to the extremes of passion or our capacity for weakness at the moments in which it is required of us to endure.
To face despair and joy with the equanimity required so that we could uphold the virtue we hold so dear. This was not achieved by being strong in every instance, rather our circumstances can level us and leave us feeling overwhelmed with emotions such as despair or anger. Yet for the Stoic, we felt such emotions, such startling lows, and each time we rose and faced what was placed before us.
Apatheia and apathy are not one and the same, they never have been and never will be. I hope this piece has cleared that much up for those of you reading and dispelled any fears as to the stigma of repression of emotion or toxic masculinity which has come to be unfairly connoted with Stoicism in recent years.
“To bear trials with a calm mind robs misfortune of its strength and burden.”-Seneca